I don’t know where to start. The title says everything I want to say right now. Sometimes we do things that blind us from the Truth, blind us from where we should be. Those close to me might have noticed, I have been different, I have been far away. And when I think of falling further and further, it is so painful. The pain shoots right to my heart. The pain reminds me of what’s important to me. When and where I am truly myself. Reminds me of how it feels to give everything to You, and leave not one thing behind.
I don’t, I haven’t and I will never deserve anything You provide. I don’t understand how I could ever forget the sacrifices You made for us, and yet I still do. The further we pull away, the harder it is to come back to You even though we know You are always there with open arms. We are born selfish people, we want to control our lives but when we do, things go wrong and we blame it on God. I have to leave my life to God and trust in Him, that is NOT an easy task.
El Nido was amazing once again. The beauty of it all, the creation of God. But if we take out all the beautiful scenery, beautiful mountains and ocean- we can Still see God’s beautiful creation everywhere, all around us. The people right next to us are the creations. Each with a different talent and a different personality. One week can change a lot of things.
I noticed many different areas in my life that needs alteration. I realized a direction and path, but at the same time, options and opportunities scramble around my head. Being able to talk and discuss is something We, as Christians, need to have. We need to be able to be open with each other, have accountability partners or group studies. No words will ever be able to describe the experience at El Nido.
Lord, I need help. Lord, I need help. Lord, I need help. Lord, I need help. I need you to bring me back, to teach me patience, show me and guide me, to focus my mind on You and nothing else. I pray for friends who are going through the same place. I pray that things will work out with God’s plan. Lord, I need help.
I Love You. Heal the pain in my heart.
Your grace leaves me in Awe and puts tears in my eyes.
Light the fire in my heart.